Don’t Make Deals with God

When I first started writing my blogs I decided to make a deal with God. Side note, don’t make ‘deals’ you’re not ready to keep. I said, ‘Okay, you keep giving me things to write about and I promise to write them.” I promised to write every week and post every Tuesday. Well if you look at the date of this blog it’s not Tuesday and also a month late… way to go Jordan. #winning

 It took me about 3-4 weeks after I originally made this ‘deal’ to actually begin writing. The ideas had stopped coming to me and I was ever so sweetly reminded, I was not keeping up my end of the deal. So I finally started to write and the next morning funds started showing up in my account and life started to click into place. I started to learn what being blessed for obedience looks like. 

I tell you this to preface my next statement..

God, when I asked you to give me things to write about THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT.

Flash forward to a few weeks ago…

 I had taken my car up to Sacramento to get checked out by a mechanic who also happened to be a family friend. My car had not passed smog several times and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it. I also was trying to sell it before I left for the race so I did not want to dump any more money into it. I left my car with him and ventured out to a coffee shop to work on writing my blog. 

 Before this day I had honestly been in a little bit of a funk. I suddenly had felt all of this pressure to do all this work for God and I started feeling like it was up to me to raise the funds for my trip, and I just wasn’t doing enough. 

 After I ordered and sat down, I pulled out my computer, looked at my page and saw an anonymous $1,000 donation in my world race account. (THANK YOU TO WHOEVER YOU ARE!!!!) I also had another $500 from two of my dearest friends! Just WOW. In that moment the fog just lifted off and I remembered that God’s got it! He has it all in His hands, and I don’t have to worry about it. He called me to this, and I know He will provide for me. I also know He does this simply because He loves me and not because of anything I’ve done. He shows up in the moments I think I am least qualified. I think He does that on purpose to remind me that it is not because of my own works but because of who He is that I am so blessed. 

 I continued to write my blog and this lady approached me to ask my about my Chacos. Her daughter was having problems with hers and she needed help. I showed her how to fix her problem, and the lady asked to take a picture of my feet to send to her daughter. Y’ALL there is a RANDOM picture of my feet on two ladies phones now for any person to see. To those with foot phobias… your welcome. On a real note though, I hope I’m always interruptible for people. I never want to miss a moment no matter how small or ridiculous, because I am too caught up in my own problems. 

 I finished writing and made my way back to the shop to meet my grandparents for lunch. I picked up my car and the mechanic said they reset the computers and I just needed to drive it around for awhile. So I drove to lunch, had the most wonderful time getting to hang out with my grandparents and then got back in my car to drive home. 

 As I sat, parked, my engine started to rev by itself and I called my mechanic in a panic thinking my car was about to take off on its own. I should probably watch less animated movies, and watch more youtube videos about how cars actually function. He told me to let it sit there til the computer reset, try filling up the gas tank and then drive it back to his shop a few miles away. So I did all of that, made it to the gas station, filled up my tank and then turned on my car. It died immediately. No matter how many times I tried turning it back on, it would not stay on more than 3 seconds. Which, I do know enough about cars to know I wasn’t going anywhere soon. 

 I called the tow truck, got towed back to the shop and waited for my diagnosis. I went through all the options I had but basically I wasn’t going to be able to drive home in my car that night. So I decided to rent a car to at least get me back to the bay, where I could go cry about it in my own bed. For some reason, that seemed like the most rewarding solution. I got my rental truck and drove it around the corner of the building so they couldn’t see me start my frustrated crying session a little early. 

 Full disclosure, I first went in to the dollar store to buy Cheetos, paper towels (couldn’t find the napkins) and water. Clearly I have great coping skills. 

 As I sat there waiting for the traffic and my emotional devastation to pass, I mentally went through all my options and was suddenly reminded of a few of the ways God has come through for me in the past. I realized that if He could handle those other things, this was also one of the things He would take care of. I didn’t know how it would work out but suddenly I had my faith back. 

 I drove home, belting my lungs out in my car, singing the fear and anxiety and stress away. Yay for healthy coping skill! By the time I got home, I felt great. I had my life suddenly shifted in front of me but I was so filled with faith and peace I knew it would all work out. 

 As my friend Newt Scamander says “Worrying means you suffer twice.” So I decided to kick worry to the curb and don the cloak of faith and trust. 

 The next day my grandparents surprised me with a great idea! My grandma had suddenly thought of this idea late in the night and then made arrangements for me the next day. She told me that I could use my great-grandmother’s car for the next two months since she was not able to drive anymore. HALLELUJAH!

 My uncle and great-grandfather happened to be driving up to Sacramento the next day and graciously let me hitch a ride with them up to my great-grandmother’s house to get the car. My great-grandmother has pretty severe Dementia and doesn’t remember who I am anymore, so I was a little nervous about going to see her by myself. She is extremely sweet and very quickly understood that I knew her and that I was a loved one, but didn’t understand I was her great-granddaughter. It is a little strange staring into the eyes of someone you have loved your whole life but having them not return the look of connection no matter how hard they try. 

 I got to share with her all about my missions trip that I am about to embark on and even though I had to repeat things a few times I could see the pure joy on her face for what I was about to do. I had such a special time one-on-one getting to share my life with her that I will never get again. Towards the end, one of her caretakers suggested that they should pray over me before I leave. Let me tell you that was the most beautiful gift I could have received. This is why I love the Holy Spirit because no matter how much her body and mind have failed her, when she started praying her spirit took over and the most beautiful, eloquent words came flowing from within her. She was like a new person, one that could look into my eyes and connect with my spirit, where she had been blank before. 

 I think God is everywhere, even in the little details, and it is so easy to miss if we are not awakened to Him. I found out that my car should not have been running as long as it had. The piece I had to replace was melted and my car should have either already caught fire, or shut off out of protection LONG before I finally took it in. I fully believe God protected me for that exact moment. If it had been any earlier I would have bought a new car or found another option other than my grandmother’s car and I would have never spent that precious time with her by myself. For that reason alone I wouldn’t have wanted that whole event to go any other way. 

 Things don’t always turn out the way we expect, and sometimes we don’t get to have the answers right away. But ‘ALL things work together for good, for those who love the Lord’ Romans 8:28. Or in more millennial terms, God’s got your back fam! No, we don’t always get what we want, but if we try sometimes, we get what we neeeedd. HA just kidding. But it’s true isn’t it? I didn’t want my car to die on me, I was hoping I could sell and it and use that money to help me fund my trip. Was I disappointed at first? Yes! Flashback to crying Cheeto fingers. But was I more blessed than I could imagine in the end? YES! I knew God would come through for me and sure enough He did in ways bigger than I could have ever thought of myself. 

So what are you worrying for? God’s got you fam 🙂

 Also I am just over 50% funded and still am looking for more friends to join along in this journey! If you like this blog and want it to continue, then please consider donating so I can continue to share more amazing crazy stories from around the world! Not to mention spread the love of Jesus to those who may never hear of him otherwise 😉 Just click the orange button above that says ‘Donate’ and Voilà! Thank you so much!!! 🙂