During my time here in the Philippines we have had several community outreach ministries each week. One of the outreaches we go to is a juvenile center for kids. Part of the shelter is for kids that are in trouble with the law and the other part is for kids who no longer have homes. Many of the kids in the shelter were picked up by the authorities for being out after curfew and brought to the home for a temporary stay. Unfortunately, for the ones that are still there, their parents never came to get them. Some parents I assume can’t pick them up for one reason or another, but some just choose not to. Many of the kids that come through have some sort of mental disorder and the parents either can’t or don’t know how to take care of them anymore, or they just don’t want to.
This place breaks my heart the most. I can’t possibly comprehend not coming back for these kids. I have to believe that some parents are just unable to but really want to come get them. Either way, the message that these kids receive is they are unwanted. I want to cry every time we have gone there, looking at their beautiful smiling faces, realizing the reality of their situation. I would take them all home if I could. We are only there for a short time, playing games, doing art projects, teaching them about the love of God and feeding them, but they are always overjoyed getting to spend a short time with us.
These kids just want to be loved, to be played with, to be chosen, to be adored, and to be enjoyed, but the only message they get is the opposite of all of that. The people at the shelter do their best to love them well, but there is only so much they can do. Kids need homes, they need people that love them, people that choose them.
While we were setting up our activities one day, one of the older boys turned around and hit one of the little ones. The older one had some mental disabilities and I don’t know why it happened but the little boy did everything he could to try not to cry. The staff yelled at the older boy and calmed him down but the little boy just quietly sobbed, just desperately wanting someone to comfort him, although he tried not to show it. He has clearly already learned at 3 that no one was going to be there to hold him when he is hurt. My heart just broke watching this, I wanted to take him home. I wanted to just hold him forever and let him know he is safe. He has no mommy or daddy to comfort him when he gets hurt. So many of these kids grow up the same way on the streets. They learn how to comfort themselves, and usually its through drugs, alcohol, or sex.
These kids have such hard lives at a very young age and by the time they are old enough to take care of themselves, they have already been through so much trauma. I can’t do anything to fix it. I know I can love the people I encounter and I know that has to be enough but right now I wish I could do so much more.
Many people have told me what a sacrifice it is to do this trip. All the things I had to give up, the difficult living situations, different foods, and being away from home for so long were all things that seemed to make this life I chose a sacrifice. While some days can be uncomfortable, this is not a sacrifice to me. This is a gift, a huge privilege. Getting to have the opportunity to love on people who may never or hardly ever receive it is a HUGE blessing. Getting to just spend time with kids and show them they are worthy of being chosen and adored is priceless. Showing people any kind of kindness and time is always worth any kind of struggle I can endure. Let’s be honest ‘home’ is uncomfortable in its own ways, although much more of a mental game. I would much rather be physically uncomfortable and have my heart and spirit at peace then be physically comfortable and be an internal wreck.
I am so grateful for the opportunity to pour into these kids, and all the other people I have met around the world. This year has been the biggest gift I could have ever asked for. I have learned so much about myself and what true love looks like through all these amazing people.
I am so ridiculously #blessed.
*Thank you SO much to everyone who has helped me raise $15,410!!! That blows my mind!! I am now only $3,290 away from being fully funded!! Please consider partnering with me to finish out the race. I am so expectant of the amazing things God is going to continue to do in South America and I would really love to be apart of it! Whether you can donate financially, or even share my blog and help me get the word out, I would greatly appreciate all the help I can get! Thank you so much!! 🙂
My heart breaks for these kids. Thank you for bringing some joy into their life! You are truly being the hands and feet of Jesus. Love you!
You have made such an impact on all the people you’ve met around the world! Your joyous spirit is contagious and your heart is full of love to give ?? it’s awesome how God blesses us as we bless others!